The Curse of the December Birthday

Do me a favor: Log in to your Facebook account, make note of everyone who has a December birthday, and give them a hug the next time you see them.

It’s a rough life for a Sagittarius such as myself. I was born on December 12, which is awesome because it’s 12/12, and in 2012 I was like “OMG it’s 12/12/12!!!” and it was the best birthday ever. However, being an awesome December birthday person like myself has its drawbacks.

Basically, having a December birthday is COMPLETELY ruined by Christmas. Here’s the kind of crap that people try to pull with me every year:

1. “Well, Christmas is only two weeks away, so here’s your Christmas and birthday present.” NO. Just, NO. If my birthday was any other month of the year you’d be getting me two presents!!! But I only get one present because my parents decided to do it in March instead of February.

2. No one gets excited about your birthday because they’re distracted by Christmas. C’mon, Jesus! Quit trying to steal my birthday’s thunder! Wait a minute…Jesus was actually born in April, you say? And it was the Romans who rescheduled it to December 25 to coincide with an existing pagan holiday, you say? Oh…sorry, Jesus. We’re still cool, right?

3. The Day of Receiving is overwhelmed by the Season of Giving. My birthday is a day when I want to feel special and only have to worry about myself. But every year it coincides with the same season that I have to worry about what to buy for other people, then wrap in a garish bow, then have them say “Thanks” and never use it.

I’m really good at complaining (you know that if you’ve ever read any of my other posts), but I do have some solutions that other December birthdays and their loved ones can incorporate:

1. Half-birthdays. Half birthdays are AWESOME! My family decided to start celebrating half birthdays for me (December 12th ) and my brothers (December 19th and January 1st ) because my family members got sick of going broke buying six presents for us in the span of one month every year. Now, we celebrate our birthdays (at least gift-wise) on the first Saturday of every July and it’s a great idea!

2. Realize that other peoples’ birthdays are affected by bad timing too. I’ve discussed my December birthday first-world problem with others and they’ve pointed out that if your birthday is in late October, it’s overshadowed by Halloween parties. When you’re a kid and have a summer birthday, everyone at school is on break so they don’t bring cupcakes to school for you. If your birthday is on September 11th …well, that sucks. Basically, there is no end to the ways you can be disappointed on your birthday.

3. “How about you stop being so petty and materialistic, Kate? Why don’t you celebrate the next year of your life by being generous and giving of yourself to others rather than rudely demanding that they shower you with gifts you don’t need?” My response to that is:

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